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Morwen Oronor Profile
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LOL about the lunch. As it turns out it wasn't too expensive. But I thought so too. He didn't ask to go, actually isn't all that interested in the finer details of his ancestry, just a little "wow, that's amazing" then moving on. She's a bit obsessive, drives me mad with emails showing pieces of paper that mean absolutely nothing. Anyway. Least said and all that.

Yes, he was quite excited to see the place. Spoke more about that than anything else. We'll visit one day when I'm up to that horrible road again. I really hate that journey with a passion. With the kids, we don't pay because they all earn way too much money and can afford to spoil us. We're just poor grandparents. emoticon
Oct/19/2018, 20:07 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
starzlookdoun Profile
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Re: The Rant thread


I often don’t know what to do in that restaurant situation, too, when it catches me off guard. I always assume everyone will either pay their own bill, or discuss it before the waiter comes. I finally learned to speak up and say, “We’ll pay our bill separately, thanks” with a smile, even if someone just told the waiter the bill will be all together. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should object to that. If they think we are being cheap, then they are being selfish, and therefore their opinion doesn’t count.

Last edited by starzlookdoun, Oct/22/2018, 3:19


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Oct/22/2018, 3:05 Link to this post Send PM to starzlookdoun
 
starzlookdoun Profile
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Re: The Rant thread


Cannot stop worrying. Every branch of my family are dealing with problems. Big problems. They say money cannot buy happiness, but if I won a big lottery prize right now I could help a lot of people in my family get out from under their stressors.

 emoticon

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Oct/22/2018, 3:20 Link to this post Send PM to starzlookdoun
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Morning gang! Monday ...

Starz I'm so sorry about your family problems ... I've often said that if I won the lottery I could make lots of people's lives a lot easier so I hear you. I really hope things will improve for everyone who is so very stressed, especially because stress causes major health issues and that's a Catch 22. Thinking of you and please know that you can talk and rant here whenever you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.


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Oct/22/2018, 11:04 Link to this post Send PM to Petal Alderin
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Of course. That's what this site is all about. Even though it's not as active, we're old friends who know and understand each other. I too wish I could wave a magic wand and fix all the problems in my family. Now my d-i-l is dealing with a life-and-death situation with her pregnancy. She has to be so careful because her blood has a clotting issue, which is exacerbated by pregnancy. She could actually die if she doesn't take the drugs necessary to keep her from forming blood clots. 16 more weeks to go.
Oct/22/2018, 14:08 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
starzlookdoun Profile
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Re: The Rant thread


Thank you, Petal, and Morwen, your DIL will be in my thoughts. I hope that all will be well.


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Oct/23/2018, 3:02 Link to this post Send PM to starzlookdoun
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Thank you starz, I appreciate it. She's going back to work next Monday, I just hope all goes well. Unfortunately people can't afford to stop working at 6 months to take a long break when they're having babies nowadays. Everything is so expensive you just have to keep working. She's going to do only half days once she has the baby, still it's hard. It was so much easier when I stopped working for 12 years while I was raising my family. Even then it hurt to have to leave a five-year-old without me.
Oct/24/2018, 13:12 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
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Re: The Rant thread


This may be a little too long. If so, please tell me where I should post it instead...


Friday morning I saw a report that an elderly man had gone missing in my city: 78 years old, his photo, a description of what he was thought to be wearing, and an approximation of his address.

I immediately knew I would be angry about how 'the search' was handled. Earlier this year I noticed a lack of effective action to help missing persons in this city (or is it more accurate to say "these days"?). Sure enough, I was only able to find two reports of this story online: the front online pages of a local paper and a talk radio (AM) station. By the next day (this morning)this story was off their front pages, so people who hadn't heard about it, would not hear about it, even though he hasn't been found yet. I listened to local news, and heard plenty about Trump and bombs, but no further reports about this old man lost in our city.

They say the first 24 hours are the most important, and this is doubly so in the case of lost senior, who could be lying in brush at the foot of a hill with a broken hip (for example), too weak to call out very loudly! The weather has turned cold and rainy; how long would his will to live last? For God's sake: urge the public to search for him, and don't let up!

Very near the lost man's home is a ravine that holds a canal (an early incarnation of the Welland Canal) mostly surrounded by fence, but there are a lot of big holes in the fence. The canal walls are high, and while the water isn't deep, it moves fast. Around the canal there are slopes, trees, bushes, large swaths of bullrushes and other tall weeds and reeds. This would be the logical place to SEARCH, with tracking dogs. I searched there today myself, and saw no sign that anyone else was doing the same. I don't have a dog, so could have missed the man even if he was there.

Why am I being so critical? Two reasons.

First: 5 months ago a teenage male disappeared from his well-to-do home in the north end of the city. The story said he left without his wallet, keys and shoes. He had been accepted to university; had a future waiting. But there was a statement that he was very upset about the recent death of his grandmother. I balked; teenagers don't kill themselves because their grandparent dies, unless there is something else dragging them down as well.

But if he HAD, he had to go somewhere on foot first. His home was near the current Welland Canal, as well as a small forest, Lake Ontario, and a bridge leading to another forest on a peninsula. Logical places to search, and big enough to need tracking dogs.

I walk those areas a lot because the canal pathway was the ONLY one that the city cleared during the winter, and all these places have flat paths that are easy on my knees. I never once saw anyone searching those areas with tracking dogs. And aside from posters put up by his family, there was no more publicity about the missing teen. Months later the police said they had been searching with dogs repeatedly, but all the times I was walking, at different times of the day, I never saw it. Unless they were doing it undercover?

The second reason this angers me goes back over 20 years. The librarian at my kids' school disappeared. Even though it was the first week of January, and the ground was covered in ice and snow, the community organized search parties and everyone who could take part was out there, searching fields and forest for her. THAT is what I expect people to do NOW. The sleet that fell that night may have confounded tracking dogs, but PEOPLE were out there instead.

Instead, I see momentary online stories, missed by many, and not repeated. No visible sign of police with search dogs. No suggestion that people form organized search parties. No repeated reports about the missing, to alert those who missed the first story, and to keep the search alive. None of that.

It makes me think that, if I were the one out there, injured, unable to walk, maybe tied up, I would feel utterly hopeless, knowing the police just publicized the story and left it to the public to pass it around on social media -- like that will help the person out there dying of exposure. Maybe they check to see if anyone uses my debit card, and they have their patrols keep an eye open for me walking on the street, assuming I am able to do so..

Correct me if I am wrong; I'd be thrilled to hear it. Because this "they'll turn up someday" attitude sounds like callous and lazy to me.

We should all be out there, looking for each and every one of them, especially during those first few days when they may be alive and still close to home.


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Oct/28/2018, 1:28 Link to this post Send PM to starzlookdoun
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Of course. I remember a couple of decades ago when schoolgirls went missing, there was a search that went on for months and months after the people who'd been suspected of taking them killed themselves. They were never found, but the search still goes on.

TV shows make it sound like lost people are looked for without stopping, but it seems the reality is not like that. We really don't care about other people and their problems. It seems.
Oct/30/2018, 10:58 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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I'm going to rant here about so-called friends.
I'm the one with the faulty socialising skills yet when I meet new people I make an effort to learn who they are and what their interests are. So for instance I met someone who my DH has known for years from work, and I invited him to come to our house for tea. We had a lovely conversation during which I learnt he's just lost a dear friend and that he is a very skilled designer and needle person. He sews like my mother was able to and makes a living from making clothes for other people. He also has sever socialising issues, only going out to the shops when he really has to but enjoys getting lost in fabric shops.
So I think I know him a little. I'm not about to try to fix him. I'll invite him back again, and hopefully we can talk a little more about his sewing interest, perhaps one day I'll be able to afford for him to make something for me for a special occasion.
I know he doesn't like going out, so I don't suggest that we meet for coffee, or that he come shopping with me, or that he go anywhere else, except if I wanted advice about dressing for an occasion, then I would definitely ask him for help.

Coming to how people are always trying to "fix" me. They don't bother to listen when I say I don't want to go out for coffee, or to stroll around the shops for no reason, or to join their whatever group, or take my dog to the park, because I don't do socialising. Yet every person who thinks I'm short of friends will suggest this to me. Today it was "join an art group, you'll love it". At Amber Valley it was "join the photography club", "join the drama group", "join the choir", "come to the bingo/quiz whatever evening". What part of "I don't join" do they not understand? Or what part of "I like my own company, chatting on the internet, researching my latest interest, writing my books" do they not understand.

I like people, I really do like people but I want to like them on the internet, or have them come to my house. I don't want to meet their friend who I'll "just love", or come to their party, or go to some new entertainment they "love" with them. it's not that I'm anti-social, I just get overwhelmed with too many strangers around me, and having to make small talk that I don't understand. When people say "it's a glorious day" I know, because I read, that they mean they're happy, and having a lovely day. I just don't get why they can't say that. When I respond with "not really it's too hot", apparently I'm being rude because they're not asking about the weather, they're saying something else. Well then, why not say "I'm happy, and loving the day today", to which I'll respond, "that's wonderful, I'm so pleased, what's made you feel so happy". But no, they pretend it's the warm day that's made them happy, apparently.

Ugh! Just leave me alone, stop trying to fix me.
Nov/12/2018, 17:17 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 


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