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Li0nh3eart Profile
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Registered: 01-2008
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


Hulk Hogan
Jan/3/2011, 12:49 Link to this post Send PM to Li0nh3eart
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


Okay. So what does he have to do with the subject of cross-cultural relationships?

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Anything Goes
Jan/3/2011, 13:17 Link to this post Send PM to Petal Alderin
 
sokolkeep Profile
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


quote:

Petal Alderin wrote:

Okay. So what does he have to do with the subject of cross-cultural relationships?



Nothing. I was just reading what seemed to be Petals views on the subject, and then Leo posted his opinion, and then it just seemed that Mo quarantined the thread so that you and Leo could duke it out mono e mono.
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Last edited by sokolkeep, Jan/12/2011, 2:53


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lux
shestni
samosud
Jan/12/2011, 2:52 Link to this post Send PM to sokolkeep
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re:


I don't really want to have a serious debate to be honest, I just like to have a discussion and throw around different views and ideas and thoughts, so that we can either agree on a point or a subject, or disagree in a friendly way. Debating full on takes it all too seriously and I couldn't be bothered with that and doing heaps of research and stuff and looking up websites, it's more opinions I'm interested in and not actual serious facts!

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Anything Goes
Jan/12/2011, 11:09 Link to this post Send PM to Petal Alderin
 
sokolkeep Profile
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


Too late. Mo says. Get ready to jump in the ring. Leo has entered the building. LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!

Just kidding.
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Last edited by sokolkeep, Jan/12/2011, 19:51


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lux
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samosud
Jan/12/2011, 19:50 Link to this post Send PM to sokolkeep
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Re:


I'm surprised that none of you are interested in having a civilised debate.

It could be fun. I'm not suggesting that you access research papers and such, all I'm saying is that if you say for instance "I've met lots of mixed race couples and they seem OK." you either ask them about their relationship, which then makes your personal experience which isn't a valid measure of the truth of anything because it's only your personal POV, or you google, "success of mixed race relationships" and quote something that you've read there.

Here's the Wikipedia page on the issue:
Read this.

You could then either quote something from that, or, if you want to look more, go to their sources at the bottom of the page, or your opponent could use your source and look for more information there to make their point.

Debating on the web is fun. But not only that, it makes you a more interesting person to talk to in the social world.

Imagine a dinner party conversation where people are discussing this topic and someone says "I can't see how it can work."

If you came back with for instance, rather than "I know people who are mixed race and happy" you came back with Sidney Poiter has a white wife, they've been married for over 30 years, Robert de Niro is married to a black woman, also for ages, they seem to be a lot happier than people like Elizabeth Taylor who's been married 7 times. Doesn't that show that race doesn't really matter? It's the security within the relationship that counts, or the amount of effort people put into a marriage rather than concentrating on their cultural differences.

Immediately, everyone at the table respects you for not giving a racist kneejerk reaction, but rather a well-thought-out argument that makes sense, and you gain a little respect as an intelligent person, rather than losing respect as someone who values personal opinion more than solid evidence.

This is why I enjoy chatting on websites where people aren't afraid to disagree.
Jan/13/2011, 14:48 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re:


We always have interesting, lively, funny dinner party conversations anyway and lots of discussions over meals whether it's just the two of us or a crowd.
I was head of the debating society at school so been there, done that in a more formal way - think I'll stick to just an exchange of opinions in the normal way rather than going into it all in such depth.
Makes it more like work than play lol!

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Anything Goes
Jan/15/2011, 13:59 Link to this post Send PM to Petal Alderin
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Re:


I'm not saying you don't have interesting dinner chats, what I am saying is that debating from a position of what is true rather than personal opinion, which is what most people do, is more interesting.

For example, I was talking to someone about diet the other day. I referred this person to several websites that confirmed what I was saying about the particular diet issue, the response I got was that they had a family member who was qualified in a totally different field, i.e. not a dietician who knew "enough" to give them advice. The conversation ended there, leaving me feeling like I was offering uncalled-for advice, and the other party seeing me as a know-it-all, despite my saying that my knowledge came from reading the literature.

Had the person even taken the trouble to read the literature, the discussion could have continued with both of us learning something and feeling inclined to continue discussing the subject, rather than both of us feeling hurt and a friendship possibly suffering a serious break.

I find debating from the point of view of having learned something and from learning from the other debater to be far more productive than "I'm right because I know people who...." kind of discussions, as with this one.

The standard argument on cross-cultural relationships is on the one hand "it's nobody's business" and on the other "well what about the children who don't know who they are?" Rather than "let's look at both successful and unsuccessful relationships and see whether the different cultures have had an effect" or "let's see is there are any data for the success or otherwise" and both parties learning something.

I'm always keen to learn something new, and I'll always admit that I'm wrong, and concede that the other argument might be a good one. I suppose the fact that I always ask questions and take the trouble to research everything I don't know makes me sound like a "know-it-all" but then also only to people who don't know anything.
Jan/16/2011, 4:17 Link to this post Send PM to Morwen Oronor
 
echt Profile
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


Petal, we don't get to choose who we fall in love with. It just happens. The older we get, the more complicated relationships become. Why limit the odds of finding friendship to one culture? Maybe because we assume there is less chance of being betrayed by our own culture.
Mar/29/2013, 2:10 Link to this post Send PM to echt
 
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Re: Cross-cultural relationships


I find it difficult to imagine a life with someone from clearly different culture. It does put extra stress on relation ship. It's not impossible for me, but I suppose I do avoid such. (Not that I'm having any relationships at all.)

So in general I think cross-cultural relationships have worse odds, but I of course don't mind anyone trying.

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Mar/29/2013, 15:24 Link to this post Send PM to Kaunisto
 


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